There`s this statue in Parque de la Madre that never fails to cheer me up. It is the most disproportionate statue of a human being I have ever seen, of a man with a giant butt, tiny thin legs, huge head and nose, and anorexic arms. It`s supposed to be of Jefferson Perez, a man from Cuenca, who won an Olympic Gold for speedwalking (did you know speedwalking was an Olympic event?! I didn´t!!). At any rate, they`ve erected a statue in his honour, and although I`ve never actually seen Jefferson Perez in person, I`m guessing it`s not an exact likeness, since there`s no way a guy of the statue`s proportions would EVER be able to walk around a track even one time...his legs wouldn`t be able to support his ass, and even if they could, his neck and chest would NEVER be able to hold up his giant head for more than a few hundred meters!!
I think as a result of the Olympic medal, speedwalking is a HUGE sport here in Ecuador. At any time of the day, I have to dodge serious speedwalkers pacing their way around Parque de la Madre on my way to the Millenium Plaza or SuperMaxi. Their concentration is total, and they would sooner bowl me over than lose even a few seconds off their time to go around me. They also take their speedwalking VERY seriously, and it is a sin to joke about it. One time, some friends and I decided to have a speedwalk race through Parque de la Madre, and we got more than a few disgusted looks at our pathetic attempts to imitate their swinging hips and arms. However, I learned that speedwalking is not an easy feat. It takes training and coaches and is not for the faint of heart! There is usually a team of speedwalkers training in the park in the afternoons with coaches and whistles and lines. You don`t get whistles for just anything!
Except apparently, anyone can get a whistle. There are guys who guard the cars on the streets at night. We call them "The Whistle Men." They are paid by the neighborhood and the car-owners to patrol the streets with their batons and whistles, to keep them safe from...harm? Mostly, the men look like socially inept drunkards who couldn`t hold down a job where it is essential to have people skills. And they blow their whistles for no reason, all through the night. I`ve been walking down the street at midnight, or 1am, and have seen a whistle man blow his whistle at a plastic bag. Or at nothing. They just blow them. For fun. I`ve also seen them urinate on the cars, but that`s a different story.
Anyways, I am leaving Cuenca tomorrow for the beach. I finished teaching last Thursday, and due to a bout of food poisoning, a stolen camera, and traveling companions who came down with a butt cyst and mono respectively, my travel plans to the jungle have been put on hold until April. Hopefully it`s not raining on the coast, but even if it is, it will be much warmer than here.
I gotta go. I`m sneezing up a storm.
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